Thursday, 17 April 2014

Work means...

My 'nice easy part time' job has become a lot meaner, harder and more full time. The honeymoon is over. It's suddenly dawning on me what work life really means.

Work means giving up 12 hours of my life everyday and getting paid for 7.5 of them, not including overtime because 'it's expected.'

Work means bringing home only £60 more per week than if I wasn't working at all

Work means helping other people progress in their careers and have more money while I remain in the assistant, junior, low paid, dogs body role

Work means making other people cups of tea then getting dragged into another task while my own tea gets cold

Work means leaving my child all sad and teething like hell, knowing she misses me and doesn't want me to walk out the door in the morning

Work means getting home too late to kiss her goodnight

Work means being a commuter among millions, spending 2 hours a day on transport, spending at least an hour of my pay for the privilege

Work means applying for other work, spending hours on each application only to be rejected and ignored

Work means worrying about things that are not important or worth caring about

Work means closing my mind and snapping at ordinary, good people, other commuters, shop assistants, my family, people who don't deserve it

Work means being the one who is snapped at

Work means just surviving, not living

Work means being around people who have two incomes, their own homes, holidays booked, time to go out for drinks, cash to go out for lunch

Work means coming home to a frazzled daycare boyfriend, trying to get to grips with his new house husband role and feeling frustrated about also not pursuing his goals

Work means feeling inadequate and guilty, not knowing what I'm doing anymore, and having no energy or spirit left to think about it

Work just isn't working for me. But what else is there?